The older I get, the more I feel the urgency to see more and do more. I have a wandering heart, often restless and dreaming about great travels to other countries. Not for a week or a packaged tour but a total immersion in a different culture. Then life and priorities happen. My elderly parents in the Philippines, a new full time job, settling in a new city, moving to a new house, and the nagging voice in my head saying that I would really love to have a dog.
I live vicariously through travel bloggers and expats who have made it their life’s mission to be global citizens. Their one priority in life: To travel and live the world. They sacrifice a lot to be anywhere and everywhere. Am I willing to do that? Do I have the courage? Me. I am a nervous wreck. I’m afraid of my own shadow.
Is the grass always greener globally? If I was destined to be a traveler, that would have been my life right now. At this moment, I would already be in some foreign land with my backpack, immersed in a culture whose language I don’t understand. My globe trotting Aunt once said that wanderlust has always been in our DNA. We have “Ilocano” blood, ancient seafaring explorers of the Philippines. Maybe there is some truth to that. So what has stopped me from exploring the world? Is it fear of the unknown or the need for permanence? A family, a dog, a house I can mess up and organize whenever I want, and a kitchen that’s mine to cook in.
This is nothing new, my mind has been unsettled many times, nudging me to pack up! go! somewhere! anywhere! as long as I don’t have to clock in at work tomorrow. Maybe that’s just it. It’s Monday. Or maybe my life needs a re-evaluation, an overhaul? Mid-life crisis? Who knows?